If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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