I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Alive.
So much puke
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
