Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
