Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
