I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
