So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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