Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
