Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
