I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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