im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
