Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
