I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize