You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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