Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize