It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
