you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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