yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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