There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
