found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
