No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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