She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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