what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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