You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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