That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
