I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
