Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
