i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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