walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
50% drunk capacity currently
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize