THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
