2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize