Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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