is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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