You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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