we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
