I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
