im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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