jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
