i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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