you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
