Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he fucked my hip out of place.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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