He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
