I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
