I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
