At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
