What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
