You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
