plz talk dirty to me
I have demons in me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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