Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
third nipple confirmed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
