i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
