I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sponge bath it is.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
