hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Randomize
