Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
