I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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