you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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