Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
