What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
