Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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