Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
