All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
