she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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