i permit you to call me
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
it hurts more in the daytime
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
