I cockslap morals
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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