bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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