dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
